Gaining Weight In Pregnancy

Gaining the right amount of weight during pregnancy by eating a healthy, balanced diet is a good sign that your baby is getting all the nutrients he or she needs and is growing at a healthy rate.

It is not necessary to "eat for two" during pregnancy. It's true that you need extra calories from nutrient-rich foods to help your baby grow, but you generally need to consume only 100 to 300 more calories than you did before you became pregnant to meet the needs of your growing baby.

Ask your health care provider how much weight you should gain during pregnancy. A woman of average weight before pregnancy should gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Underweight women should gain 28-40 pounds during pregnancy. Overweight women may need to gain only 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. You may need to gain more or less weight, depending on what your health care provider recommends.

In general, you should gain about 2 to 4 pounds during your first three months of pregnancy and 1 pound a week for the remainder of your pregnancy. If you are expecting twins you should gain 35 to 45 pounds during your pregnancy. This would be an average of 1 pounds per week after the usual weight gain in the first three months.

Where Does the Extra Weight Go?

Baby 8 pounds

Placenta 2-3 pounds

Amniotic fluid 2-3 pounds

Breast tissue 2-3 pounds

Blood supply 4 pounds

Fat stores for delivery and breastfeeding 5-9 pounds

Uterus increase 2-5 pounds

Total 25 to 35 pounds

Is It Safe to Lose Weight During Pregnancy?


No. It is never safe to lose weight during pregnancy -- both you and your baby need the proper nutrients in order to be healthy.

How Can I Gain the Appropriate Amount of Weight During Pregnancy

If your health care provider recommends gaining more weight during pregnancy, here are some suggestions:

* Eat five to six small, frequent meals every day.
* Keep quick, easy snacks on hand, such as nuts, raisins, cheese and crackers, dried fruit, and ice cream/yogurt.
* Spread peanut butter on toast, crackers, apples, bananas, or celery. One tablespoon of creamy peanut butter will provide about 100 calories and seven grams of protein.
* Add nonfat powdered milk to foods such as mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs and hot cereal.
* Add condiments to your meal, such as butter or margarine, cream cheese, gravy, sour cream and cheese.

What Should I Do If I Gain Too Much Weight?


If you have gained more weight than recommended during the beginning of your pregnancy, DO NOT try to lose weight. It is never safe to lose weight during pregnancy -- both you and your baby need the proper nutrients in order to be healthy.

Be sure to eat a variety of foods to get all the nutrients you and your baby need. Here are some tips to slow your weight gain:

* When eating out at a fast food restaurant, choose lower fat items such as broiled chicken breast sandwich with tomato and lettuce (no sauce or mayonnaise), side salad with low-fat dressing, plain bagels or a plain baked potato. Avoid fried foods such as French fries, mozzarella sticks or breaded chicken patties.
* Avoid whole milk products. You need at least four servings of milk products every day. However, using skim, 1% or 2% milk will greatly reduce the amount of calories and fat you eat. Also choose low-fat or fat-free cheese or yogurt.
* Limit sweet or sugary drinks. Sweetened drinks such as soft drinks, fruit punch, fruit drinks, iced tea, lemonade or powdered drink mixes provide many calories with little nutrients. Choose water, club soda, or mineral water to avoid extra calories.
* Do not add salt to foods when cooking. Salt causes your body to retain water.
* Limit sweets and high calorie snacks. Cookies, candies, donuts, cakes, syrup, honey and potato chips provide many calories with little nutrition. Try not to eat these types of foods every day. Instead, try fresh fruit, low-fat yogurt, angel food cake with strawberries, or pretzels as lower calorie snack and dessert choices.
* Use fats in moderation. Fats include cooking oils, margarine, butter, gravy, sauces, mayonnaise, regular salad dressings, sauces, lard, sour cream and cream cheese. Try the lower fat substitutes that are available for these foods.
* Prepare meals using low-fat cooking methods. Frying foods in oil or butter will increase the calories and fat of that meal. Baking, broiling or boiling are healthier, lower fat methods of cooking.
* Exercise. Moderate exercise, as recommended by your health care provider, can help burn excess calories. Walking or swimming is generally safe, effective exercises for pregnant women. But, be sure to talk to your health care provider before starting an exercise program.
Source:webmd.com

wivestales

Wives Tales and Pregnancy

It's all great to hear advice during your pregnancy, especially unwelcome advice. I'm sure you've been told by one person or another how to live. Am I right? It only gets worse the further along in your pregnancy you are. Someone will want to tell you that you shouldn't bend, or walk a certain way, not to pick up a baby in case you hurt the one in your stomach or put yourself in labor. As the pregnancy gets closer to the due date you'll be told many different home remedies of how to put yourself in labor. Got a headache? Someone can tell you exactly what to drink to get rid of it without any medication, remember it is important to ask a doctor before trying to take something you've never tried before doing it. But the most fun I have during the course of the 9-10 months stretch is hearing all the wives tales, also known as myths.

I'm pretty sure you aren't going to even care at this point what sex the baby is, all you want is for the morning sickness to stop. You may even be counting down the days until the first trimester is over. Chances are if you morning sickness someone is bound to tell you what sex of the baby is. One wives tale is if you are having severe morning sickness is a sign you are having a girl.

Here's a wives tale that is a lot of fun and you can test it on everyone in your household. Take a thin piece of string or your hair, slide your ring down it, hold it above your belly and let the ring dangle above it. If the rings spins in a circle it is a boy, but if it goes from one side to the other, it is a girl. Once you've tried it out on your tummy, get someone in your house and do it above their hand. Does the ring spin in a circle above your husband's hand? Hmm, is it really and old wives tale or is there really something to it?

Many women claim to suffer from bouts of heartburn during the pregnancy, according to the old wives tell this would mean your baby will be born with a head full of hair.

Right before the end of your first trimester your doctor will listen to your baby's heart rate, this is to make sure the baby is doing alright. The wives tale goes, if the heart rate is high it is a girl and a low one is a boy.

Ever have someone tell you that you are carrying high or low and wonder what that really means? Basically if you are carrying your baby low it is closer to your abdomen, a high baby is closer to your chest. Look at yourself in the mirror. How is your baby sitting? The old tale says that if you are carrying high it is a girl, carrying low is a boy.

Wives tales can be a lot of fun but keep in mind these aren’t fact. Don’t go preparing your child’s room just because one of these told you, you were going to have a girl.

stretchmarks

Pregnancy’s Beautiful Stretch Marks

The minute you find out you are pregnant you know things are going to be changing, from your waist size to those little stretch marks that pop up. Stretch marks are exactly that, red or purple marks left in your skin because it has stretched. The most common areas for it to appear is the buttocks, thighs, stomach, breasts and even arms. 90 percent of all pregnant women will get them, whether they get a lot or a few depends on the body and how they are preventing them.

There are a ton of lotions out there that claim to help prevent stretch marks, such as scar serum, cocoa butter or Maderma. Make sure your skin is always moist, this helps in stretching the skin and not tearing it. There are new discoveries every day, ask your doctor what he/she recommends. Try them out yourself first and see if they work for you. This isn’t something you just put on one time during your pregnancy, you’ll have to make this a daily effort in order for it to work. That’s where most women fail, they just stop doing it.

During your pregnancy try to eat healthy and stay in shape. This can help to keep off any access weight. The recommended weight gain for the average, 25-35 healthy pregnancy is 25-35 pounds. Make sure you drink plenty of water, staying hydrated helps keep the skin healthy. The moment your skin dries out you can begin getting stretch marks.

If you’ve had one or more children your chances of getting more stretch marks will increase. Your skin has already been stretched out and you are about to do it again. Large babies and multiple babies can increase your chances of getting stretch marks too. Begin using preventing creams and lotions with vitamins A and E in them, as soon as you find out your are pregnant and try to lessen your chances of getting them.

After the pregnancy if you have any stretch marks you may still have a few stretch marks, even after all the care you took. These do fade over time, so don’t worry about the way you look. If they are unbearable to you and you’ve waited a while, you can choose to have a tummy tuck or laser removal. Make an appointment with a dermatologist to see what he/she has to tell you. You may discover that you can live with them after all.

Besides caring for your skin daily and eating right, there isn’t much you can do to prevent these beautiful pregnancy marks, however this doesn’t mean you don’t have to try. Take comfort in knowing that half the woman you know that have been pregnant probably have a mark or two, they may even have a little road map. Think about it as you’ve just been initiated into the gang of motherhood. No woman should ever feel ashamed of her stretch marks, they may not be the prettiest thing in the world but they do represent one thing…your child. Remember that the next time you are getting disgusted by them.

pregnancy siblings

Preparing the kids for Pregnancy

The moment you find out your pregnant you want to tell everyone, including your kids. The way you tell your child depends on their age, an older child will understand what it means when you tell them you are pregnant or that they are going to be a brother or sister soon. However, a toddler is a little bit harder to explain this too.

Think about your child’s personality when it comes time to tell them. You know your child best. They may enjoy being sent little clues like you did with daddy, or they may just want you to tell them straight out. You could get lucky and have them walk in the room while you are announcing it. This happened to me when I was expecting child number four. I had just walked out of the bathroom waving the wand in the air to show my husband. I had no clue that my kids had walked into the room until I heard them screeching I was pregnant. Oops.

Their Reactions
Don’t be shocked if at first your child acts distant, many children will respond to the news in their own way. One of your children may even start to pretend to be pregnant right along with you, mimicking everything you do. While another child may tell you they don’t want you to bring home a new baby. These are all common reactions to the news, the way you handle it will determine the outcome.

If your child seems reluctant to want another child in the home you may want to find out why. The only way to find out what’s bugging him/her is to ask. Maybe they are just scared that you are going to stop loving them, or that everyone will forget about him/her when the baby is born.

Showing them They are Important too
A good way to do this is to make sure they get something the moment the baby is born, some have had the doctors give the sibling their own baby doll when their sibling was born. Try reading children’s books with them to show them that it’ll be a good thing. Dad can always spend some one on one time with them.

Involving Your Child in the Pregnancy
This is their baby too, have your children accompany you to a few of the doctor visits. Let them hear the heartbeat of their little sister or brother. Watch their faces light up when they see the baby for the first time on the screen. There are many ways you can involve them, you can encourage them to help you decide on a name. Try letting them feel the baby kick for the first time by placing their hand on your swollen belly.

It’s easy to prepare the siblings for your new arrival as long as you involve them in the pregnancy along the way. They’ll be happy to be part of it and feel more of a connection to the baby when he/she is born.

pregnancy fitness

Staying Fit During Your Pregnancy

Keeping fit during your pregnancy is great for you, not only will it help you keep your body toned but it also can help when it comes time to push that baby out. Every pregnant woman wants to be able to go back to her pre-pregnancy weight after the baby is born, but the only way to do that is to make sure you can. By excising or working out every day you are making sure you don’t add fat to your body. During labor it’ll be much easier to push the baby if you’ve been strengthening your leg and stomach muscles. Who knows, it may even make labor a little bit shorter. Isn’t that what we all want?

Plus when you are tired and just feeling a little blue, just by exercising you actually increase your energy.

Here are a few quick things you can do to stay fit during pregnancy, without really having to break out a sweat. I’m sure by now you’ve heard of yoga, this is a very good thing for you to practice, especially if you haven’t always been in the best of shape. Not to worry, there are beginning levels here, you don’t have to jump into the human pretzel right away. Try purchasing a set of small weights that you can use throughout the house, like hand weights or wrist weights that can use while walking. Instead of just laying on the couch while you rest you can be lifting small weights.

Get a chair and try doing a couple crunches, 5 to 10 in the beginning to make sure you don’t pull anything. Don’t worry you can always add to it as the weeks go on.

Try running, walking or jogging outside. Not only will this boost up your energy but it’ll also help get your spirits up, especially if you’ve been inside all day. Remember, if you are going for a walk to always bring a drink with you. You don’t want to dehydrate out there. Always make sure that you are wearing comfortable shoes, before you leave the house. If you didn’t always run, ask your doctor if you can. Sometimes a doctor may suggest you walk around the block at first and increase it from there, if you didn’t always do it before you were pregnant.

If you can you may want to try going for a swim or try bicycling. However, if you find that you are accident prone you may want to stay away from the bike. A bike accident is something that can easily happen, even when you’ve always road a bike. Swimming can help you relax and stay cool. Take a dip in the pool near you, they may even have a swim class for pregnant women in your area. This would be a great way to meet other moms.

Whenever you are doing exercises, make sure you aren’t overdoing it. If you believe you could be stop immediately and take a break. You never want to do anything that’ll harm the pregnancy.

pregnancy concerns

Concerns During Pregnancy

There is nothing more stressful than to have something go wrong during pregnancy. It doesn’t matter if it is your first time being pregnant or your fourth. There are many things to be concerned about during your pregnancy and it is easier when you know what they are.

Vaginal bleeding- This may also known as spotting, but make sure that is what is going on. There is a difference between actively bleeding and spotting. Spotting is lightly bleeding kind of like your period, the blood can be red, pink or even brown. If you are bleeding actively with any pain call your doctor, if you can’t get a hold of him go immediately to the emergency room. Bleeding can be a number of things from implantation, ectopic pregnancy, labor, infection or even miscarriage. Always let your doctor know, so everything can be ruled out, you’ll feel better too.

Stomach pain or cramping- During the pregnancy it may be hard to decipher the difference between a growing pain and an actual stomach pain/cramping. However, if you do get a pain of any sort rest. After a few minutes if it doesn’t subside, call your doctor and describe the pain to him. Don’t worry about it if you find out you only had gas or were having Braxton hicks contractions, at least you know everything is okay with pregnancy.

Gush of liquid- This could mean you are in labor and that your water broke, however if it isn’t close to the time of birth it can be something else. Call your doctor immediately and head for the emergency room.

Dehydration- While you are pregnant it is easy to become dehydrated, especially if you have morning sickness or just don’t drink those 8 glasses of water. If you find yourself pale, dry mouth or dizzy, you could be dehydrated and should be seen by a doctor. Dehydration can cause premature labor and/or distress on the pregnancy.

Painful urination - Could be a urinary tract infection, also known as UTI. This can be easily treated with medication or by drinking lots of fluids and cranberry juice. A urinary tract infection isn’t something to be embarrassed about, it is very common amongst pregnant women. The growing belly pushes against your ureters and makes it harder for it to flow through. Which of course can cause infection. Another way to find out if you have it is if you have a foul odor when you pee.

Pregnancies can be scary enough, there’s no reason to add to it. If you are ever in doubt or have a concern talk with your doctor. It is common that first time moms are worried about many pains that they feel. Never fear calling because you are afraid of waking the doctor up or because you feel silly. Being silly might just save the baby. While you are worrying, you are only causing stress on you and the baby, find out what’s wrong and relieve your anxiety.

picking names

Picking a Name Before Your Pregnancy Ends

Choosing a name is one of the most important things you'll have to decide on during your pregnancy. Pick a name that your child is going to love, not something he/she will hate or be made fun of. There are a lot of things to consider when naming your child.

Origin
The origin of a name can help you pick out what name you like best, this also adds a piece of history to your child. Giving your son/daughter an Italian name because their great grandfather originally came over from Sicily will mean a lot to the family. Not to mention your child will always know they’re Italian. This doesn’t mean you can only choose names that go with your heritage, there may be a name out there that belongs to your child that isn’t.

The Sound of the Name:
Names can be hard to pronounce sometimes, not just for other people but for your child as well. Don’t choose a name you have a hard enough time saying, imagine how hard it’ll be for your own child to learn. The spelling can also be a cause for concern. Your child must learn how to spell his/her name, you don’t want a name that has over 20 letters long. Do you think you’d be able to learn to spell that in kindergarten? Think about your child first, sure the name might sound great but make sure it isn’t something that is going to be really hard. This doesn’t mean don’t choose a name that is unique, that is what makes your child stand out. But make sure that is what you really want.

Meaning
Meaning can be another factor when choosing a name, learn what that name means before you pick it. You might want something that means something dear to you. My daughter’s name means pure hope, I thought it was a lovely gesture and it sounded beautiful. Think about choosing a positive meaning for your child, this is the first thing that will be associated with him/her the moment he/she is born.

Gender names
Gender naming is another important issue. Think about if the name sounds like a boy’s name or a girl’s name. There are names that can go either way such as Sam, Erin or Angel.


Nicknames
When picking out a name, don’t forget that your child may end up being called by a nickname because of the name you have chosen. If this is something you don’t want, try picking a name that can’t be shortened. But don’t be surprised if it happens anyways. If you don’t mind, try picking out a name that’ll have a nickname you enjoy.

Last but certainly not least, remember children can be cruel think about the initials your child will have. You don’t want something that it’s initials mean something else. You want your child to be proud of his/her name. Not everyone is going to like the name you have chosen for your child, but as long as it is something you like, your child will like it too.

Morning Sickness

Morning Sickness During Pregnancy

Morning sickness can be one of your first signs that you are pregnant. This doesn’t always mean that you’ll get sick only in the morning. This can happen, morning, noon or night. It will normally occur in the first trimester or your pregnancy and end by the second, this isn’t the case in all pregnancies though. Some women will continue with it until the very end of term.

Nausea can happen immediately or you may get lucky and have no morning sickness at all. No one is for certain what causes morning sickness, it is a change in the body that happens during pregnancy. Many women seem to get sick after taking the prenatal pill, try taking it later in the day. Your doctor may even advise you to take some other form of vitamin instead of the pill. Always find out first with your doctor before taking anything new or taking yourself off medication, even prenatal pills.

There are a few ways to minimize the sickness, but they don’t work for everyone. Try keeping crackers on hand, I prefer saltines for some reason. Try drinking some ginger ale, it calms the stomach down. Dry cereal is another good thing to eat, your stomach may just be a little bit hungry and trying to tell you. Remember to take small portions, this way you know if it is all going to come up or not. Sleeping is another good way to avoid it, however it will wake you up. Keep yourself hydrated, not only can this make your sickness come but you can become dehydrated and need to go to the emergency room if you aren’t careful.

Smells is another thing that seems to cause morning sickness. Imagine walking into a restaurant and the first thing you smell is grease. Yes, this can easily set it off. Bad smells and even certain tastes, get the feel for your body during the pregnancy and figure out just what sets it off. Knowing how to avoid it, can make a world of difference.

A few reasons you should go to your doctor would be if you begin losing weight because you are constantly sick. If you become dehydrated, faint, look pale, confused or throw up more than four times in a day. Your doctor may be able to prescribe something that will stop it.

Try slowing down a bit, sometimes your body is just exhausted from all the errands you are running and it tries to give you a break. Listen to your body, take a nap, relax and watch a television show…take some time off. If you are looking for remedies for your morning sickness, you may try buying some pregnancy pops. Or if you’d prefer to stay away from the sweets you can wear a bracelet designed to stop morning sickness, they are just like the motion sickness bracelets. They don’t work for everyone but they could work for you.

holiday pregnancy

Stress Free Holidays During Your Pregnancy

Holidays can already be a stressful time, and mix that with pregnancy and hormones and you can be asking for trouble. I’m not meaning for just the pregnant woman either, anyone and everyone in her path. Women already feel the pressure of having that perfect holiday for her family, which is probably why she decides to do 100 things at a time...stressing herself out in the end. However, she doesn’t have to have a stressful holiday. There are five ways to make your holidays something to remember.

Mark the Dates
Go out and buy yourself a calendar for the holidays. Post it up on the wall and start marking dates. You won’t need to stress out because you won’t be double booking yourself. This can also help you in preplanning, mark the day you should send out the holiday cards or buy certain items.

Choosing Your Activities
During the holiday season you are sure to be invited to a couple of parties. It isn’t necessary to attend every one of them. Decide which ones you’ll enjoy the most, maybe two or three and explain to the rest you’ll miss going but need some rest.

Choose Where You’ll Go
Whether you want to stay home for the holidays with your own family or go across country to be with the entire family the decision should be yours. Don’t feel guilty telling them you won’t be making it this year, explain you need rest and traveling isn’t very helpful. You may even want to extend an invitation for the family to come to your house instead.

Designating Jobs
If you’ve decided to have the holidays at your house you can still have a good time. Don’t forget that asking for help is okay. No one expects you to do it all on your own. Do you really have to cook the ham, bake the potatoes, make a cake, clean the house and set up the tree all by yourself? Designate others to help, they'll feel happy you’ve given them something to do instead of sit around waiting while they watch you do it all.

Shopping Time
Shopping during the holiday season can be a nightmare that you don’t need to attempt while pregnant. It’s safer to just stay home during some of those sales. Instead you may want to try shopping online, not only will you be home but you can relax. The only thing you’ll need is a credit card and let your fingers do the work. You can even do all your holiday shopping early and have it delivered right to your front door. All you need to do is wrap it up and hide it in the closet.

Remember the holiday season is all about making memories that’ll last. You may be pregnant but you don’t have to sit at home the whole time stressed out, instead you can actually enjoy yourself with these helpful tips. Don’t forget to take a little time off to do something just for you, after all you deserve it.

halloween costumes

Halloween Pregnancy Ideas

The minute you begin your pregnancy everything is changing, your body, your clothes sizes, even your looks. But that doesn't mean you have to skip out on your favorite holidays, like Halloween. Being pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t dress up. Whether you are buying your costume or making them yourself, you can have fun. There are many costumes you can buy for couples or just for yourself. The Pregnancy couple may want to go as a baker and an oven, or an egg and bacon bit. Both outfits are really cute and creative, you can even make them at home if you chose too.

If you want to get really creative you can make your own costumes, here are a few costumes that you can make just using your belly and normal clothes are:

The eyeball- This is something my husband created, all you need is a little facial paint and black clothes. This is something even a person that can't draw can have a little bit of fun with. Wear all black clothes on Halloween and paint your belly white, make the center of the eye whatever color you desire and don't forget the red veins. Make it scary or cute, whatever fits your desire. Have a bit of fun and show off that tummy by keeping the shirt up or wear a shirt that shows your tummy. My husband got a kick out of this one and was so excited that he got to do the artwork.

If you want to dress up completely but not stand out, try going as a human pumpkin. Wear a tiny green cap or make one out of felt and all orange, if you can cut a slit in your shirt for your belly to stick out. Now, paint it orange and decorate your pumpkin.

A pea is another simple costume you can make and stay warm. Go find some green jeans or sweats and a green sweatshirt. Keep the shirt up or cut a hole in it to make your little pod stick out and paint it all green.

If you aren't feeling up to having a full body costume, you could always just paint the belly and proudly show it off. After all, how often will you be pregnant? Think of anything that is round: basketball, volleyball, soccer ball, a bowling ball, etc

Don't forget witches were mothers too, so if you've always dressed as a witch for Halloween you don't have to stop the tradition. This year go as a pregnant witch or maybe a witch holding a pumpkin. Use that belly!

A Bun in the oven- Get a medium or small box, cut it out so that you can wear it over your shoulders. Make room for your head to slide through. Decorate it with paints like an oven. Cut open the front of the box so that it will open and close. On the outside of the box write, “Bun in the Oven.” Paint your belly a light beige for all to see the little baby bun.

guide pregnancy

A Guide To Your Pregnancy

The first step of your pregnancy, after seeing the little positive stick should to have it confirmed. Call immediately to have a pregnancy test done with your local doctor, you may be in luck and get in that same day or have to wait about a week or two. Patience will become your best friend during this time or your worst enemy, waiting can become a very hard thing when you want to know for sure whether you are or aren't pregnant. More than likely you'll get a phone call a few days later to confirm it.

Set up an appointment to see your OB/GYN or midwife as soon as possible, chances are you'll be meeting his/her staff before you ever meet them. This is the first appointment where your doctor/midwife will want to know all your medical history. If you’ve been pregnant, what types of sicknesses run in your family, etc. If you can, try making sure you know all of this ahead of time, maybe even have it all down on paper so when he/she asks you are prepared. During the days or weeks leading up to this meeting you may have concerns, write them down and ask them. Believe it or not doctors are there to help you, and they’ve been asked every question you can possibly think of. Before leaving your doctor may even give you a bag full of goodies all about being pregnant. Read these, they may prove beneficial and not to mention they’ve got coupons. Your doctor will either give you another appointment or have you set one up before leaving. There are some great books out there if you are really worried about what will happen next or how birth is going to be, check them out at your local library.

Make sure that you get your prenatal vitamins, they are very important during pregnancy. If for some reason you can’t take them, talk with your doctor he/she may be able to prescribe a lower dosage or something else. You’ll get your first ultrasound, also known as US around week 20, this is normally when you find out what sex the baby is. However some doctors like to call it safe and give you an ultrasound around 10-12 weeks just to make sure the baby is in the proper location and all is going well. You will also be asked to take an orange drink that you must drink in five minutes. You’ll wait around for an hour to three hours, at which point your blood gets drawn and you can go home. The test determines if you have or have a chance of getting gestational diabetes.

At first your appointments will be about 4 weeks apart until you hit the 36 week and at that point it’ll be two weeks later and a week later after that until the baby is born. By now you should be preparing to have the baby. Yes, I’m sure you’ll have some anxiety towards the end of your pregnancy. You’ve went this far, it’s time you see your reward.

Fun Ways to Announce Pregnancy

Fun Ways to Announce Your Pregnancy

Whether you just found out you’re pregnant or you’ve known for a few months, announcing your pregnancy to family and friends can be a lot of fun. Some may want to wait until a certain time during their pregnancy, while others want to call everyone immediately after finding out themselves.

Telling The Father
Have a romantic dinner for two with candle lights, it may be your last time for a while, between morning sickness and raising your little one. Serve up baby carrots, baby back ribs and anything else you can think as baby. At the end, pour apple juice instead of wine and hand him a present. Inside you can have a tiny baby bib that says, “I heart My Daddy”
or a pair of baby booties.

If you can’t tell the father right away because he’s away on business, or deployed try sending him a care package. Inside the box place a few baby items, everything in blue and pink and a baby naming book in the center. Place a note on top of the book with, “I need a name soon, I’ll be here by June.” Or whenever the baby is due.

You can also see how long it takes him to figure it out. Go to the dollar store and pick up a bunch of small baby items, a bib, rattle, bottle, booties, etc. For a week, leave an item laying around the house where he is bound to find them. At the end of the week if he hasn’t figured it out yet, prepare the big gift. Have a large teddy bear sitting at the dinner table in the seat beside him, make sure there is a bib wrapped around him and maybe a sign that says Hi Daddy.

Telling Family and Friends
Show up to a family gathering wearing a shirt that announces your state. These days there are a ton of shirts out there with clever sayings, “Baby on Board,” “A Bun in the Oven,” or something related to the pregnancy. The moment you walk in or take off your jacket everyone will figure it out without you ever having to say a word. Now, get ready for the tears and excitement. You’ll be answering a ton of questions.

If you already have children you may want to call the grandparents up and tell them that the next Christmas they may want to add one more to the list.

If this is the first grandchild, you may want to get a bracelet link for your mom that reads, “#1 Grandma” or grandparent t-shirts. This will not only be a great present for them but something they will cherish and love forever.

No matter when you spread the news it can be a lot of fun, just think creative and let the pieces fall. You may even want to try catching all of it on video, so think ahead and prepare for the BIG moment, and I’m not meaning the birth.

eating healthy

Eating Right During Your Pregnancy

You already know it is important to eat a well-balanced diet, but it is even more important when you are pregnant. Keep in mind now you are eating for two. Whatever you eat, the baby eats as well. In fact the baby actually takes your nourishments so you must eat enough for both of you. The healthier you eat the better it is for the pregnancy and you.

Never miss a meal while you are pregnant, especially breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and your baby has probably been waiting since he/she woke up in the middle of the night. You may learn that if you wait so long before eating you start to feel sick, this is your body telling you to eat. Do it!

Make sure you are getting enough of the food you need daily. It takes 4-6 servings of dairy a day for a healthy pregnancy, this can include some cheeses, milk, yogurt. This provides the baby with calcium which it’ll need to develop healthy growing bones. Adding extra calcium to your diet wouldn’t hurt you either, especially your teeth and bones.

Don’t forget about your fruit and vegetable servings. Lots of green is always a good choice, so are sweet potatoes. Not only will you be giving your body what it needs but you’ll start to have more energy. Try laying off the sweets for a week and replace them with healthier items and see how alive you feel.

Foods to Avoid
Not all foods are safe during your pregnancy, there are a few things you should avoid eating:

- unpasteurized products- brie

- Certain fish- exotic, shark, swordfish, anything high in mercury
- Raw eggs

- Undercooked meats- lunch meats. If you are buying a deli sandwich you can ask for them to eat the meat up a little.

- Caffeine- soda, chocolate. If you find this difficult you can wean yourself off, but the less caffeine in your system the better it is for the baby.

If you are ever unsure of the foods you can eat you can ask your doctor for a list of items to avoid during pregnancy. They’ll be more than happy to share this with you.

You may also learn that your stomach won’t handle certain foods that it would before. Some of those foods may include foods that contain grease, fast foods, meat, and certain foods that have a strong odor.

Eating healthy doesn’t mean you have to cut out all the fun in your life, you can still treat yourself from time to time. Go out and get a frozen yogurt or a smoothie.

While you are making sure you get enough to eat throughout the day, that doesn’t mean neglect your fluid intake. You’ll need lots of water and juices from here on out. The baby will thank you later. Who knows, you may discover that you really enjoy eating healthier and continue it even after the pregnancy.

breastf eeding during pregnancy

Breastfeeding While Pregnant

Being pregnant doesn’t mean you have to stop breastfeeding your child. Long ago doctors believed it actually took nutrients away from the baby inside you, however that is not the case. Even today we have people that believe this and they will argue with you the entire time. Only you can decide if you should stop breastfeeding your toddler or not. Don’t let someone else make that decision for you.

Reasons to Stop
A few reasons you might want to stop breastfeeding may be if you are feeling constantly drained of energy. Or maybe your child has started to bite. Sometimes your milk will just dry up, this is your body’s way of telling you that it has had enough and to take a break. Mastitis could play a big role in making you stop immediately as well. Mastitis is an infection in the breast when it isn’t expressed enough and gets engorged.

Stopping or Weaning
If you do plan on stopping because you are pregnant, make sure it is for the right reasons. If your child has reached a certain age, it might be best. But never just yank it away from them. Your child could wonder why it is being taken away. Wonder if they had done something or become discouraged about the new baby coming. Some children decide to wean themselves, which is a big help to you and you won’t feel so guilty about it. You can choose to do it cold turkey, or slowly wean him/her off. Cold turkey can have some bad results. Try limiting his/her feeding times to certain hours and gradually as time passes take away more. Your child will quickly stop on his/her own and it won’t be a traumatic event.

Continuing to Feed
If you do plan on continuing to breastfeed while you are pregnant, talk with your doctor about it. Not all the time will the doctor agree with your decision. Sometimes he/she may see something in your health that you don’t. Listen carefully and find out if it is a health reason or simply his/her own belief. If it is the doctors belief, you can always seek out one that agrees with you. Being pregnant is hard enough at times, knowing you have someone in your corner will only relieve the stress. Don’t be surprised if your family and friends want to say something about it and they will probably give you all kind of advice on how to stop and what they’ve read. Nicely explain to them it is your decision and you’ll do what you think is best for your children. Try finding a support group in your area so you have someone to vent to or talk about these issues. Check out if there is a La Leche League near you or online that you can join.

Remember that as long as you take proper care of yourself and your body, you’ll be able to safely breastfeed while pregnant.

bellyhands

All Hands on Baby

Everyone wants to touch the baby, especially during the pregnancy but no one every asks. If you haven't noticed yet, the minute you start to show a tummy everyone else will gladly show you. The tummy becomes this magnet for hands and everyone wants to handle it. It doesn’t matter if you are walking around in a store, sitting down in a restaurant or walking on your own street, someone is bound to start rubbing all over it.

You aren’t the only one that is being driven nuts by this either, take a look at your husband. Sure he seems like a trooper but deep inside he’s probably ready to put someone’s lights out. Talk with your husband and see how he feels. Even if you don’t mind, he might not like other men’s hands on you. He may not care if it is a female touching your body but he can mind about a man. Think about how you would feel if you saw some woman rubbing her hands all over your husband’s chest. Maybe the two of you can come to an agreement, after all do you have to let everyone touch the baby?

Your belly, clothed or not is a personal space, sure there is someone intruding inside you but that person in welcome. But to actually touch someone else’s belly one should ask before they do it and respect your answer. If you don’t want them to touch it, tell them. While some women don’t mind all the attention, there are other women that don’t want their belly’s touched, let alone them to be showing for the whole world to see. Maybe they’ve gained 10 pounds and feel conscious enough about it, or they could be a very private person.

Children may also want to touch the belly, normally it is because they know someone that has had a baby and they were able to do it. If you don’t like it, let them know. If you don’t mind, you may want to place their hand on your belly. Children tend to get excited and actually smack the belly when they are trying to reach for it.

Forget about the rubbing the belly for a moment, be careful that you don’t get the person that likes to poke at it. That hurts more than anything and half the time they don’t get it. Try explaining to them as nicely as you can that it hurts. They may only be doing it because they want to see the baby move and when you jump they just think it is part of the pregnancy reaction. They may think twice before doing it again to you or anyone else.

If nothing else seems to work and you’ve been polite in letting people know that your belly is off limits, feel free to sick your husband on them or start swatting. You’ve already given fair warning. Don’t feel bad if you smack a person that lifts up your shirt in broad daylight either. This is a normal reaction and people should really think twice before doing it. They wouldn’t do it if you weren’t pregnant.

babyshower

Planning a Baby Shower

Baby showers are a lot of fun, especially for pregnant mom-to-be. Not only is this something for the baby, but now she doesn‘t have to go out and buy. Before you throw a baby shower for someone there are a few things you should do to prepare. The first thing is figure out if this will be a surprise shower or not. There are benefits to both, the first one being if she knows she can help you with a list of people that she would like to be there. However, if it is a surprise she’ll be touched that you cared enough to throw her a baby shower, but be careful you don’t want to give her too much of surprise and put her in labor.

Making the Guest List
When it comes to making the guest list things can get a little tricky. Find out if there is anyone that would be upset if they weren't invited. Never leave out close family or friends, at least give them the option of showing up.

Games
Planning games for a shower can be a bit difficult when you have so many fun games and have a few gifts to pass out as prizes. Baby shower games are a lot of fun, here is a quick list.

Mommy’s belly- The mom-to-be stand in the center of the room and each guests get to decide how big her belly is using a string or a toilet paper sheets. Find out who guessed the closest.

Guess the nursery rhyme- Give each guest a sheet of nursery rhymes and have them guess the nursery rhyme or finish it. This will help everyone remember them and see who reads those bedtime stories.

Did you say Baby Game?- Each guest is giving small clothespins to wear around their neck on a necklace or on their shirt. Every time someone says “Baby” if someone catches them they get to take one pin. At the end of the party the guest with the most pins wins a prize.

Memory- Using a plastic tin of some sort place a bunch of baby items in it such as, bib, thermometer, baby spoon, diaper rash crème, etc. Anything you’d use on a baby. Let each guest get a chance to look in the bin for a few seconds and take it away. Once everyone is finished have them write down everything that was in the box. The person with the most correct answers wins.

Baby Food Tasting - Have a variety of baby food in jars, take off the outside wrapper and place a number at the bottom of the jar, on a separate piece of paper write the name of each jar. Each guest is dished out a spoonful of baby food to try. Have them write down what they think each one is. The one with the most correct answers wins a prize.

One more is this exersaucer

Have a great baby shower and don’t forget to bring a gift.

You Can't Spoil a Child through Love

You Can't Spoil a Child through Love
Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn't spoil children. Love is imperative to a child's healthy development, and it's just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them.
It's a parent's job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges. Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life.
Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security. Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don't want to fight with their children. They don't want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you've set for them, be firm yet kind in your response. This lets them know that you're serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it's now time to come home.
Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household's rules and expectations. There's no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.

Training the Fussy Eater

Training the Fussy Eater
Toddlers can be fussy eaters who refuses to try a new food at least half of the time. Approximately half of all toddlers fit this description, so it is no wonder that food issues are a source of stress for parents.
Establishing healthy eating patterns is important to avoid problems such as obesity and eating disorders later in life. Various strategies can help your child accept a wider range of foods. It may be necessary to offer a food to your child as many as 10 different times before they choose to eat it. The problem is, many parents get frustrated and give up before the fourth or fifth try.
Try to make foods fun. Colorful foods like carrot sticks, raisins, apples, grapes, cheese sticks and crackers can all be fun and healthy choices for your growing toddler. Explain to them that eating good food is important so they'll grow big and strong, and how it will help them run faster and play longer.

Children learn behaviors from their parents. If you restrict yourself to a narrow range of foods, your child will take notice and mimic your caution. Don't limit your child's food variety to only those foods you prefer. It may be that your child's tastes are different to yours, and perhaps you are simply serving them foods they don't happen to like. Try to set a good example and try a variety of foods in front of your child. It could motivate them to do the same.

If your child seems healthy and energetic, then they are eating enough. If you are still concerned, keep an eye on how much food they actually eat over the day. Children tend to graze constantly, rather than restrict their eating to three meals per day like adults. You may be surprised how those little handfuls and snacks add up. For further reassurance, check your child's growth and weight charts, or check with your child's pediatrician.
Try not to worry, and remember, that unless a child is ill, they will eat. Children are very good at judging their hunger and fullness signals. Try to stay relaxed about mealtime and offer your child a wide variety of foods, and most importantly, remember to set a good example by trying a wide variety of foods yourself. You may discover you and your toddler share a new found favorite food!

Time Outs Help Reinforce Positive Behavior and Discourage Misbehaving

Time Outs Help Reinforce Positive Behavior and Discourage Misbehaving

Disciplining a young child using the time out method can be very effective, and will work with children as young as 18-24 months old. By using this method of discipline parents are giving the child time to sit quietly and alone after misbehaving, without becoming angry or agitated with the child.

Designate an appropriate area in the house where the child is isolated from interacting with others. It can be a corner in their bedroom, a space on the kitchen floor or a special chair that's labeled specifically for time outs. The length should be age appropriate. A good rule of thumb is generally one minute per year of age. A kitchen timer is helpful in counting down your child's punishment time.
Time out for toddlers is used to give them a chance to regroup and calm down. It's doubtful they will sit completely still, and they should not be forced to try.
All children should be asked in a firm but pleasant tone to complete a designated task or stop an undesired behavior. If their behavior persists, they should be verbally directed to behave once again, with eye contact being made and the time out spot pointed out. If after this warning the behavior still persists, they should be escorted to the time out location and told exactly why they are being sent there. Maintain a calm but firm tone with them. Once they've quietly served their time in the time out location it's important to discuss with the child why they were sent there and that if the behavior occurs again, they will again be sent to time out. Older children should then agree to do what you told him to do or cease misbehaving. Children who leave their time out location before their time is up must be made aware that privileges will be lost as a result.

It's likely that your time out method will have to be modified to fit the temperament of your child and your own parenting style. And remember to reinforce positive behavior with praises, hugs and smiles. Time out can successfully be used outside the home such a grocery stores, restaurants, or shopping centers. It's important to emphasize to the child that time out will be enforced should they misbehave while there. Be consistent and place the child in time out should they misbehave in the store. If you don't, they'll get the message early on that you're inconsistent and will be more likely to test your boundaries.

The Whys of Whining

The Whys of Whining
"Moooooooooooom!"
It's irritating, it's frustrating and it gets on your last nerve. Though it's obnoxious and unacceptable, it's actually an effective for your child to get your attention. It's whining. But, like other bad habits, you can nip it in the bud early with a few simple strategies to teach your child there are other appropriate, effective forms of communicating with you.
First, try limiting the situations that trigger it. Avoid extra errands when the kids are hungry. Don't let them get involved in a frustrating game or project prior to bedtime. Pay attention when your child is talking, as sometimes whining is a reaction when a child feels you aren't giving them your full attention. Praise them for not whining and talking in a normal and understandable voice that allows you to fully understand what they are saying to you.
When the whining begins, don't overreact. Keep your response simple, calm and neutral. Ask your child to repeat the request in a normal tone. When giving in seems inevitable, don't delay. If you must finish the grocery shopping so you can put dinner on the table, for instance, and your child starts whining for a snack, offer something healthy right away.
Once a limit has been set, parents should follow through. It's imperative that both parents are on board with this limit and fully follow through when the whining rule has been violated.
If you have an older child that's developing a whining habit, suggest they come up with a solution to their perceived boredom or other voiced problem. If you suggest possible alternatives, it might just prolong the child's whining.
Sometimes whining can be the result of trauma and trouble in their life. A divorce, serious family illness or problems at school may be at the root. Additional positive attention and quality one-on-one time may be just the medicine your child needs at a time like this. Your pediatrician can also suggest alternatives to curb whining should the positive attention and disciplinary actions be ineffective.

The Truth about Lying

The Truth about Lying
Honesty and dishonesty are learned in the home. Parents are often concerned when their child or adolescent lies.
Young children often make up stories and tell tall tales. This is normal activity because they enjoy hearing stories and making up stories for fun. These young children may blur the distinction between reality and fantasy. This is probably more a result of an active imagination than an attempt to deliberately lie about something.
An older child or adolescent may tell a lie to be self-serving, such as denying responsibility or to try and get out of a chore or task. Parents should respond to isolated instances of lying by talking with the youngster about the importance of truthfulness, honesty and trust.
Some adolescents discover that lying may be considered acceptable in certain situations such as not telling a boyfriend or girlfriend the real reasons for breaking up because they don't want to hurt their feelings. Other adolescents may lie to protect their privacy or to help them feel psychologically separate and independent from their parents.
Parents are the most important role models for their children. When a child or adolescent lies, parents should take some time to have a serious talk and discuss the difference between make believe and reality, and lying and telling the truth. They should open an honest line of communication to find out exactly why the child chose to tell a lie, and to discuss alternatives to lying. A parent should lead by example and never lie, and when they are caught in a lie, express remorse and regret for making a conscious decision to tell a lie. Clear, understandable consequences for lying should be discussed with the child early on.
However, some forms of lying are cause for concern, and might indicate an underlying emotional problem. Some children, who know the difference between truthfulness and lying, tell elaborate stories which appear believable. Children or adolescents usually relate these stories with enthusiasm because they receive a lot of attention as they tell the lie.
Other children or adolescents, who otherwise seem responsible, fall into a pattern of repetitive lying. They often feel that lying is the easiest way to deal with the demands of parents, teachers and friends. These children are usually not trying to be bad or malicious but the repetitive pattern of lying becomes a bad habit. A serious repetitive pattern of lying should be cause for concern. Consult a professional adolescent or child psychologist to find out whether help is needed.

The Positive Influence of Being Involved in your Child's Education

The Positive Influence of Being Involved in your Child's Education
It has been shown many times over in research studies that a parent who is involved in their child's education has a positive impact. It's reflected in improved grades and test scores, strong attendance, a higher rate of homework completion, higher graduation rates, improved attitudes and behaviors in the child, as well as the child being more likely to become involved in positive extra-curricular activities. Send out the message early in your child's education that your home is an involved and active supporter of their learning.
Probably the most important element of a positive learning environment at home is structure. But what is too little or too much? If we're too lenient or expect too little, your child may become disorganized or unmotivated. If we're too rigid and strict, it can cause undue pressure or cause your child to feel unable to deliver on your expectations.
So what's the best way to meet in the middle and create a positive learning environment for your child at home?
Help your child develop a work area where they can study and focus without being interrupted. Children usually do better when they have a private study area away from interruption. If your child prefers doing their work at the kitchen table, make sure other family members understand the kitchen is off-limits during study time. Make sure your child has plenty of supplies and reference materials available and that the area has plenty of light. Regardless of its location, ensure the area is quiet and that your child can study and work uninterrupted.
Agree on a regular time for studying. To help your child make homework a habit, schedule a set time each day for homework. Perhaps breaking study time up into smaller increments would work better for your child than one solid period. Work with your child to find out what works best for them. In addition, be sure your child has a sufficient break between the time they arrive home from school before they sit down to work in order to 'decompress' from their school day.
Help your child develop a method of keeping track of homework assignments. This can be a difficult chore for some students. Developing a successful way of keeping track of assignments then scratching them off as completed helps them develop a productive method for accomplishing tasks later in life.
Develop a positive line of communication with your child's teacher. Teachers are usually very willing and excited to work with an involved parent to help the child's overall success in school. Whether it's notes sent back and forth in your child's backpack or an e-mail correspondence, make sure your teacher knows your open for suggestions as how to better assist them in the homework and study process at home.

The Keys to Effective Discipline

The Keys to Effective Discipline
Disciplining a child is one of the most important, yet difficult, roles of being a parent. Effective discipline teaches a child to be self-disciplined later in life. It helps your child grow up to be happy and well-adjusted. Effective and positive discipline teaches and guides children, and helps them to feel safe, secure, and valued.
Discipline should be based on a child's age, development and temperament. A parent's goals by disciplining their child is to protect them from danger, to help them learn self-control and self-discipline and to develop a sense of responsibility.
Children should be respectful of their parent's authority. If they're disciplined harshly or unfairly, especially if it includes shouting or humiliating, will make it difficult if not impossible for a child to respect and trust their parent.
Parents must be consistent in their discipline. Discipline that's not consistent is confusing to children, no matter how old they are. If parents are inconsistent in the way they discipline their children, children may find it hard to respect them. It can also indirectly encourage misbehaving and result in confusion and frustration for the child.
Discipline must also be fair. Parents must make sure that the punishment fits the crime and doesn't punish too severely or is too lax. The consequences of their actions should be related to their behavior.
In order to discourage bad behavior, give your child choices about what to do. He will appreciate the chance to make decisions. Make sure rules that protect the safety, health and well-being of your child are given top priority. If your child is irritable, tired or upset, be understanding and try to help calm them. It's important to keep in mind that bad behavior can sometimes be circumstantial.
Encourage positive behavior in your child by spending quality time alone with your child each day. Give your child hugs, cuddles or a gentle pat on the back, and give praise when praise is due. If your child is angry or sad, try to understand why. Teach your child good behavior by setting a good example and behaving properly and appropriately yourself.

The Importance of Crystal Clear Rules for your Child

The Importance of Crystal-Clear Rules for your Child
The world is a far more scary and complicated place than it was when you were a child. As a result, it's imperative that you set adequate yet fair boundaries with your child. It's a very important role in your parenting responsibilities. Children must make difficult decisions each day, and if they don't have clear, firm boundaries set, they may not always make the wisest choice. Limits teach children proper restraint in social and individual activities and provide children with necessary structure and security to assist in healthy development. Setting limits also provide children with guidance before they have an opportunity to get into trouble, thus making them more successful with everyday life.
A child's age and developmental level needs to be considered when setting limits. All children have a need for independence and individualization; however, they also need structure, security and parental involvement. It goes without saying that the needs of a 2-year old vary greatly than those of a teenager. A toddler has a strong desire to explore and investigate, but parameters need to be set to ensure their safety while doing so. Teenagers need to be able to be an individual and be independent, but with strong parental guidance and influence, are more likely to make smart choices in difficult situations.
Limits should be discussed and set prior to the situation. Though situations arise that weren't planned on, daily situations should have set limits and expectations. A teenager who breaks curfew may have the privilege of going out with friends revoked until they learn respect for the rules. A child who misbehaves while playing with a friend may need to be separated from the fun until they can learn to properly behave.
Children respond in a positive manner in an environment in which they know what to expect and what is excepted of them. A child will be more respectful towards rules and more willing to abide by them if the rules are clear and consistent. Additionally, it's crucial that once a limit is set that they caregiver stick to it. A child is less likely to try and manipulate a caregiver into changing the limits when their experience has been that there's no bending on the limits. And remember, you are the one who sets the limits and lays down the law. There's no need to argue with your child. Be firm and consistent and they are less likely to challenge the rules and will accept the consequences.

The Importance of a Regular Routine to your Child

The Importance of a Regular Routine to your Child
Regular schedules provide the day with a structure that orders a young child's world. Although predictability can be tiresome for adults, children thrive on repetition and routine. Schedules begin from the first days of life. Babies, especially, need regular sleep and meal programs and even routines leading up to those activities.
As they gets older, when a child knows what is going to happen and who is going to be there, it allows them to think and feel more independently, and feel more safe and secure. A disrupted routine can set a child off and cause them to feel insecure and irritable.
Dinnertime is a great place to start setting a routine. Sitting together at the dinner table gives children the opportunity to share their day and talk about their feelings. This is also a great time to include some responsibility in your child's routine, such as helping to set or clear the table.
And regardless of how exhausted you or your children may be, don't be tempted to skip winding down from the day. This is part of a nighttime ritual and allows both child and parent to decompress after a busy day. It also helps bedtime go more smoothly. This is usually the time of day when parent and child can spend some quality time together, so fight the urge to start the laundry or do the dishes until after the child has gone to bed. If this isn't possible, consider trading off these duties with your spouse each night to ensure your child has quality time with each parent on a regular basis. Take the time to find out what wind-down strategy works best for your child. Some children are actually energized instead of relaxed by a warm bath, so if that's the case with your child, bath time should be saved for a different time of day. Whatever routine you settle on, make it quiet, relaxing, and tranquil for everyone.
And though routines are essential, there should be some room to be flexible as well. You might be out late at night on a family outing, have unexpected company show up that may result in a skipped meal or nap in the car while running errands in the evening. In these instances, it's important for you to keep your cool. If you express frustration or anger about disrupting the routine, your child will as well. Prepare children for such unexpected events and show them that though it can happen from time to time, the routine will return the next day.

The Family that Eats Together Stays Healthy Together

The Family that Eats Together Stays Healthy Together
Recent studies have shown that not only do children like to sit down at the dinner table and eat a meal with their parents, but they are more likely to eat a well-balanced, nutritious meal when they do. But with the hectic lives we seem to lead these days, getting the family all together in the same place at the same time can be a difficult chore. Between work schedules, after-school activities, errands, and the like, it seems we have less and less time. But with a few simple ideas and some planning, meal time can be an enjoyable and treasured family time.
Designate no less than one night per week to have a sit-down meal with your family. Sunday nights are usually a good choice for this because you have more time to relax and the weekend chores have been completed.
Involve your children in the meal planning and preparation. This gives them a strong sense of self and the foundation for a lifetime of healthy meal planning and preparation.
Make sure the television is off, and make it a rule that all phone calls go to voice mail or the answering machine during the meal. Take this time to visit with one another and enjoy one another's company. This is a great time to reconnect and find out what events happened this week. Take your time eating, and teach your children how to do the same in the process. Eating slowly is a healthy habit. Don't jump up and start clearing dishes and putting things away until everyone is done eating and talking.
On those days that you can't sit down as a family, try to make a habit of sitting down and chatting with them while they are eating, instead of rushing around catching up on the chores. This shows them you're interested and that you care and want to be and involved and important part of their every day life.

The Detrimental Effects of Verbal Abuse and How to Stop the Cycle

The Detrimental Effects of Verbal Abuse and How to Stop the Cycle

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

That's just not true. Name-calling hurts -- especially when the person doing it is a parent, a teacher, or a coach. Yelling and screaming might have been the way you were brought up and you might think it worked for you, so why wouldn't it work for your kids? But did it? Remember how it made you feel. You probably felt belittled, devalued, and insignificant. You certainly don't want your own children to feel that way. It may cause emotional trauma that can result in long-term hurt. Among other things, verbal abuse can undermine your child's self-esteem, damage his ability to trust and form relationships, and chip away at his academic and social skills. Name-calling, swearing, insulting, threatening bodily harm, blaming or using sarcasm are all forms of verbal abuse.

What are the signs that a child is suffering from verbal abuse? They may have a very negative self-image. They may commit acts that are self-destructive, such as cutting, hitting or scratching themselves, as well as other reckless and dangerous activities. They may exhibit physical aggression, be delinquent in school, or display interpersonal problems. They may hit other children, frequently fight with classmates at school, or be cruel to animals. They may also exhibit delays in their social, physical, academic or emotional development.

Recent research suggests that children who suffer from verbal abuse are highly likely to become victims of abuse later in life, become abusive themselves, or become depressed and self-destructive later in life

It's normal for most parents at one time or another to feel frustrated and angry with their children. They may lash out verbally in these instances and say things they later regret. It's when these instances become more and more frequent that there is cause for concern. If this describes you, it's imperative that you seek professional help to learn more positive, meaningful and constructive forms of discipline, and for help in learning methods to control your anger. Remember to give yourself a time out if you feel an outburst coming on. Try to refrain from saying mean, sarcastic or belittling things to your child. Remember, your child learns what he lives. Don't be a bad example and teach him bad behavior early on.

Remember that your child is a precious gift and should be treated with love, kindness, respect and tenderness. If you exhibit these to your child on a daily basis, they will learn what they live and grow to do the same as adults.

Teach your Child to Give Respect and They Will Gain Respect in Return

Teach your Child to Give Respect and They'll Gain Respect in Return

One of the most important things you can teach your child is respect and the best way to teach respect is to show respect. When a child experiences respect, they know what it feels like and begin to understand how important it is.

Keep in mind the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Respect is an attitude. Being respectful helps a child succeed in life. If children don't have respect for peers, authority, or themselves, it's almost impossible for them to succeed. A respectful child takes care of belongings and responsibilities, and a respectful child gets along with peers.

Schools teach children about respect, but parents have the most influence on how respectful children become. Until children show respect at home, it's unlikely they will show it anywhere else.

How can you show respect to your child? If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize. Don't embarrass, insult or make fun of your child. Compliment them and let your child make choices and take responsibility. Listen to your child's side of the story before making a decision on an issue or problem. Be polite and use "please" and "thank you" when asking them to do things. Knock before entering your child's room. Keep promises. Show your child that you mean what you say. And give your child your full attention.

And most important, teach your children that respect is earned. Make sure that you are leading by example and modeling respectful behavior. Be a law-abiding citizen. Show concern for your environment, animals and other people. Openly and honestly discuss exampled of witnessed disrespect.

In addition, teach your child to respect themselves. Self-respect is one of the most important forms of respect. Once we respect ourselves, it is easier to respect others.
Help them set and achieve goals. Encourage honesty and teach them that people make mistakes, and that they are the best way to learn.

Most importantly, praise your child often for good deeds, behaviors or traits, and tell them you love them at least several times each day. You're sure to raise a child capable of giving and gaining respect.

Teach Children to Respect by Treating them with Respect

Teach Children to Respect by Treating them with Respect

In order to teach or child to treat others with respect and dignity, they must also be treated that way. And childhood is a time for children to learn about the world, including how to get along with others. Parents play an essential role in teaching children how to form healthy relationships and grow into socially adept individuals. This social competence allows children to be cooperative and generous, express their feelings, and empathize with others.

The most effective way to teach children this lesson is by modeling the behavior you want to encourage. Every time you say "please" or lend a helping hand, you are showing your children how you would like them to act. Ask for your children's help with daily tasks, and accept their offers of help. Praise your child's good behavior and traits often, and help them realize how good it feels inside to do a good deed or be generous with another person.
Socially competent children are ones who have a strong sense of self worth and importance. When a child feels good about themselves, it's easy for them to treat others in a positive, helpful manner.
Encourage acts of generosity through sharing and cooperation. Let your child know when it's someone else's turn with a toy or on the swing and praise their ability to recognize this on their own. Thank them for being polite and respectful and for sharing and cooperating.
Children know from their own experiences that words can hurt, and that name-calling, teasing, or excluding others affects how people feel. Children want to be treated fairly, but they don't always understand how to treat others the same way. One way to teach fairness is to explain a rule to your child, pointing out that it applies to him as well as to others.

Take the Bite out of your Toddler's Biting Problem

Take the Bite out of your Toddler's Biting Problem
The majority of toddlers engage in some biting between their first and third birthdays. Probably the most common reason is that it is one of the few ways of communicating that's effective for them, before verbal skills are developed. However, not all children bite. Some choose other forms of communication, such as grabbing, shoving, or punching.
Another reason toddlers bite is to express frustration, a feeling which is very common with toddlers, because both their communication skills and their motor skills are so limited.
To a young toddler it can be funny to see mommy suddenly bolt upright or for a playmate to start crying. Toddlers may also bite because they're teething or because they put everything in their mouths anyway, so why not someone's arm? It could even be something as simple as hunger.
But how do you teach your child not to bite? Make it perfectly clear that the biting is hurtful and wrong and point out to your child how much pain their biting has caused. Express that biting is wrong and unacceptable and that neither mommy or daddy like it.
If you discover that your child is biting out of frustration, try giving them an alternative to express to people they are having a difficult time. Though language is a difficult task at this age, most toddlers can be taught words that are appropriate for such a situation. For instance, "You need to tell mommy or daddy that you need help and not bite us," or "Show mommy what you need, but don't bite. You'll hurt her if you bite and I know you don't want to hurt mommy, do you?"
Experts agree that parents should try not to give biting so much attention that it becomes an attention-getter. This is true of all behavior that you don't want to see repeated. Firmly tell the child again that there is no biting allowed, that it is wrong, and that it hurts people.

Tactics for Tackling a Toddler's Temper Tantrum

Tactics for Tackling a Toddler's Temper Tantrum
Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They're equally common in boys and girls and usually occur from age 1 to age 3. Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some kids are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.
Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren't able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration - a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children's frustration with the world. Frustration is an unavoidable part of kids' lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.
Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.
Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one's short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn't. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.
Make sure your child isn't acting up simply because he or she isn't getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent's response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good ("time in"), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behavior. This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they'll be anxious to do it again and again.
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Successful Two-Way Communications with your Child

Successful Two-Way Communications with your Child
One of the most frustrating challenges we face as parents is communicating effectively with our child. Though we strive to open an honest two-way line of communication with our child, we become frustrated when it appears their attention isn't solely on us or the conversation at hand. Yet we seem to find it's perfectly acceptable to discuss things with them while reading the paper, folding clothes, or working on the computer and then are often left wondering when the lines of communication broke.
Children are by nature easily distracted and not always responsive to their environment. It is the responsibility of the parent to emphasize positive patterns of communication and ensure the child learns that ignoring communication is not acceptable. Early prevention, in the form of educating your child about the proper forms of communication, is the key to ensuring that the non-verbal agreement does not take hold. Teach your child by example. Remain completely and totally focused on them and the conversation at hand. Turn off the television; allow calls to go to the voicemail, or go in a room where there are no distractions.
Talk to your child, and explain to them in age-appropriate terms how they are communicating and why their method doesn't work. Show your child how to communicate effectively, even when the questions are hard.
Make yourself an active listener. Let them voice their opinion or side of the story and ask questions to ensure you understand their viewpoint.
Be constant in the manner in which you communicate with you child. Send the same message with each and every interaction. Allow your child to see that you will call their attention to those times that the unwanted behavior rears its ugly head.
Kids will be kids and they will sometimes be distractive and non-communicative. You are the expert in knowing your child's behavior and can best judge the improvement in their communications. The best way to ensure healthy communication patterns is to model positive communication skills.

Providing a Safe and Secure Home for your Child

Providing a Safe and Secure Home for your Child

Accidents in the home are the primary cause of death in U.S. children. By taking a few simple precautions, these injuries can be avoided, making your home safe for your child and the children who visit it.

In your kitchen, you should be sure to install safety latches on cabinets and drawers. This helps keep them out of the everyday household chemicals you use to clean your home and dishware with, and also keeps them from grabbing sharp objects like scissors or knives from inside the drawers. Use the back burners when cooking on the stovetop, and keep the handles of your pots and pans turned out of a curious child's reach while cooking.

Safety latches should be installed on cabinets and drawers in your bathrooms as well to keep them out of unsafe household cleaning products and medicines. Be sure to unplug any electrical appliance such as a blow dryer or curling iron directly after use and put out of a child's reach. Teach them early that electricity and water do not mix and that no electrical appliances of any kind should ever be immersed in or placed under running water. Toilet locks should also be used in homes that have small children to keep lids down. Young children are 'top heavy' and can easily fall into a toilet if they lean in to play in it. Since a young child can drown in less than just an inch of water, it is imperative to closely supervise them in the bathroom at all times.

Around your house, be sure to secure furniture such as bookshelves and heavy furniture that could tip easily to the wall using brackets. Use doorknob covers to keep them out of rooms with potential hazards and to keep them from leaving the house unsupervised. Make sure your window blinds do not have looped cords on them as they can present a strangulation hazard to a young child. And always cover your electrical outlets with protective covers to keep small fingers from them and small objects from being inserted into them.

Check your house over carefully for other potential hazards and address them immediately. With these precautions and some common sense, your household will be your child's haven.

Protect your Child's Emotional Well-Being

Protect your Child's Emotional Well-Being

In our effort to balance very full and hectic lives with our families and our jobs, we may have been neglecting an all-important facet of our child's life: their emotional well-being. The first three years of a child's life is a critical time for a child, and the trauma of changing child care providers or having a 'part-time' parent float in and out of their life can be very traumatic and destabilizing for them. It's imperative that parents, educators, involved adults and care providers make a concerted joint effort to ensure that a child's emotional needs are met on a daily basis, just as their physical needs are. The effects of not meeting a child's emotional needs, especially during the first three years of life, can have devastating consequences. Violent, disruptive or defiant behaviors can result.

The first three years of life are critical in a number of ways. This is when bonding and emotional separation takes place. If there are interruptions in either of these processes, misbehaviors from the child can result. This can later have an affect on their relationships later in life and hinder them in developing their own healthy relationships as adolescents or adults.

During the first three years of life, the brain goes through its most rapid development ever, the likes of which will never been experienced again. By the time they are three years old, a child's brain is already 'hardwired' from the experiences they've had to that point. It's imperative that these be loving, supportive, safe, positive experiences so the brain will be conditioned to expect positive things. If they've been frightening, hurtful, abusive, or dangerous, then the brain is conditioned to expect negative occurrences.

Therefore it's critical that parents, caregivers and other involved adults make a concerted effort to make sure the child's emotional needs are met in a positive, constructive and healthy manner. Parents should ensure that the child's care providers are stable and consistent, and don't move them around to different childcare providers during this important phase. Ensure a child feels safe and secure with structured and consistent schedules and routines. Be sure to spend as much quality time with your child at this time as possible, regardless of your otherwise busy and hectic lifestyle. A child can sense that such a schedule is stressful to you and it can become a frightening or confusing element for them. Therefore it's important to take time out to reassure them that you're never too busy for them.

Remember that your child's emotional well-being is just as important as their physical, so do your part to ensure your child knows he's growing up safe, secure, treasured and loved.

Productive and Positive Potty Training

Productive and Positive Potty Training
Your child's showing all the signs of being ready to potty train. That's great! But now, where do you start?
Explain to your toddler that going potty is a normal process of life and everyone does it, even animals. Talk with them about the toilet, a special place where they can potty just like the big kids. Tell him how the potty works and let him try flushing himself. Explain that they will be wearing underwear and not diapers. Find some educational and entertaining videos of their favorite characters learning to go potty. Be sure to involve other family members in the process and emphasize the importance of consistency during this process.
Make a special trip to the store and purchase new underwear with your toddler. Let them have a voice in what you get. The underwear will have much more significance if your toddler helped choose them.
Overalls, pants with lots of buttons, snaps or zips, tight or restrictive clothing and oversized shirts will all be an obstacle to your child during this process. Put these kinds of clothes away for the time being.
Decide whether or not you're going to use pull-ups, training pants or regular underwear and try to stick with this decision so your child has consistency and isn't confused. Think about whether or not you want to use rewards or not. Figure out a strategy on how to handle potty issues when you're away from home.
If your child is in child care, ask your provider for their advice and make sure there aren't any hard and fast rules the center or caregiver has in place that may be an issue. Let them know that you're going to start and enlist their help with the process.
Praise your child for each successful trip to the potty, and comfort them when accidents happen and try to remain patient and calm when they do. Avoid using candy or other treats as reinforcement. Let them know that it will take a while to get the hang of using the potty, and encourage and praise each attempt they make. With consistency, encouragement and praise, they'll soon be completely trained.

Present a Unified Parental Front when Disciplining your Child

Present a Unified Parental Front When Disciplining your Child

Disciplining your child is never easy. You probably know from experience and mistakes how important it is to be consistent, firm and to always follow through with designated disciplinary consequences. But when there are two parents involved, it's crucial they are both on the same page and apply discipline consistently regardless of marital status.

Parents should agree on how to discipline their children. To become reliable to children, both parents must be consistent in dealing with similar situations. In a situation where the parents are separated or divorced, disagreeing with each other over upbringing can create a confusing situation for children. They should make a concerted effort to keep their child's best interests at heart and sit down with their child and line out the rules and expectations and the consequences for violating those rules. Both should agree that the intended discipline is fair, and apply it consistently in a firm yet fair manner in each home.

In addition, if there are disagreements regarding discipline or other parenting issues, they are best resolved when the child is not present. If the child senses discord, they may attempt to manipulate the situation to their advantage.

When teaching good behavior, parents should "practice what they preach." Children learn values and beliefs more by examples adults set than by verbal instructions. Screaming at a child to be quiet or paddling a child for hitting is hypocritical and ineffective. Decide what is important and what parental response to use to teach your child. It would be more effective to calmly tell your child to be quiet or use "time-out" when a child is physically aggressive.

And remember what works now may not work later down the road. Situations may dictate a different approach, and time and maturity may demand a child's rule be modified or abolished altogether. Sometimes your common sense will help you decide when bedtime rules should be modified or table manners relaxed. Some rules will be the same, others will be modified or abolished, and new ones will be introduced. But regardless of the situation, parents should always present a unified front and work together and not against each other in providing effective discipline for their child.

Postive Praise for your Child's Pride

Positive Praise for your Child's Pride
Praising a child correctly is important to the development of positive behaviors. It's a great way to encourage constructive future behavior. When you give praise you are giving your child a feeling of positive feedback, which increases their sense of confidence, self esteem and abilities. When you praise your child, you are pointing out the way they've acted, an action they've taken, or simply who they are. When your child looks good, tell him so. When your child does anything that pleases you, let him know. You should also praise a child's effort to do well, even if it doesn't come out so good in the end. You should find something each day about your child to praise.
Be on the lookout constantly for behaviors or actions deserving of praise, but don't be over the top about it. Be sincere and honest in your praise. Wait for unexpected or previously unnoticed good behavior and praise your child for it. And when you see such action or behaviors, praise immediately so the child will know exactly what behavior or action was deemed praiseworthy. It's also very important to look your child square in the eye when you praise him, and reinforce the positive behavior, action or trait being praised with a gesture such as a warm smile, a hug, scruff of the hair, or caress his face while you tell him.
Be exact, and state precisely what action, behavior or trait you find praiseworthy. And most importantly, never directly follow praise with criticism or negative comments. Let your child know what they did right and reward them for it before you let them know what they did wrong and punish for misbehaving or a misdeed.
So be sure to admire and congratulate your child and celebrate the good person they are growing into by praising their positive actions, behaviors and traits daily. You'll be building a strong sense of self in your child and you'll grow closer as a result.

Positive Discipline without Hurting your Child

Positive Discipline without Hurting your Child

Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patience. It's easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It's at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it's imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let's face it - none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.

Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.

Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they've misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it's not the child you dislike; it's his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed.

If you need to, give yourself a brief 'time out' before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children's misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option.

Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it's important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.

Physical Punishment is Ineffective and Harmful

Physical Punishment is Ineffective and Harmful
Effective discipline does not involve physical punishment of children. Recent studies have shown a direct link between physical punishment and several negative developmental outcomes for children including physical injury, increased aggression, antisocial behavior, difficulty adjusting as an adult and a higher tolerance towards violence. Research has also shown that physical punishment poses a risk to the safety and development of children. It is crucial for parents to gain an awareness of other approaches to discipline because it is all too simple for physical punishment to turn into child abuse and result in severe physical injury, detrimental emotional damage and even death. Each year thousands of children continue to die as a result of physical abuse. Children have a right to be protected from physical abuse, and laws in every state demand severe punishment for those found guilty of physically harming a child.
Most parents do not want to use physical punishment as a form of discipline. A child that lives in an abusive environment is likely to grow up and either be abusive themselves or have severe social, emotional, physical and cognitive delays in development. Parents' disciplinary methods serve as strong models to children that teach them how to deal with life's day-to-day challenges. It is important for parents to model appropriate behavior and to establish expectations as well as limits. Children have a right to live in a safe, secure and nurturing environment, and their dignity must be respected. Parents must consistently use fair and logical consequences whenever children fail to follow rules. They must keep in mind that a child is not a miniature adult, but only a child and that discipline must be age appropriate and fit the child's temperament and maturity.
Adults who recognize they have a problem with physically abusing their children should immediately seek professional help and ensure their children are taken to a safe environment to avoid harming them further.

Our Ever-Changing Role as a Parent

Our Ever-Changing Role as a Parent

We watch our children grow right before our very eyes. It seems like yesterday they were a baby learning to crawl, walk, and feed themselves, and now they're in school, involved in activities, making friends, and learning to be more and more independent. Parents before us have said that from the time they're born, we are constantly learning to let go. As a result, our parenting strategies have to change. As our child grows, develops, learns, and matures, so does our parenting role.

As your child has grown, you undoubtedly have discovered they have their own unique personality and temperament. You've probably unconsciously redeveloped your parenting skills around the individual needs of your child. And no two children are exactly alike, and therefore, neither should your parenting style. Some children may need more guidance and feel more unsure of themselves, so we've become used to having to guide, lead, show and encourage that child consistently through their childhood while still trying to encourage independence and give praise in order to build their self esteem and confidence level. Yet another child may be very intrinsically motivated and very willful and not need a great deal of guidance or leadership from you. While you encourage their independence, it's also important that you also encourage their ability to ask for help when needed and continue to praise good deeds, actions, and traits.

The most important tools we have in order to successfully adjust our parenting skills are our eyes and our ears. We have to see what's going on with our child and we have to hear what they are telling us. It's important that we encourage our child to be their own individual while still being available to them at whatever level or degree they need us to be. Sometimes it's situation-specific as well. A child may not need us to be as directly involved with their schooling to ensure their overall academic success, but they may need us to be more involved in their social life as they may be feeling a bit shaky or scared when it comes to making new friends or meeting new people.

So the bottom line is this: as your child grows and changes, so should your parenting skills. Keep your eyes and ears open and communicate honestly and openly with your child, and you'll both mature gracefully.